It is not my claim to be exceptionally skilled at speaking or writing. I can point you to sources from which you can learn and improve, if you like. However, it may not be out of place to recount here, some of my most memorable lessons.
Non-verbal communication is significant though subtle. We all know that lawyers, hospital staff, airline crew, and police have dress codes, if not specific uniforms. Indian politicians have subtle conventions in this respect. Shrimati Indira Gandhi always made it a point to wear a handicraft from the area she visited (Prime Ministers were elected in those days, and spent most of their time amidst their votaries).
The impact of color on communication is not widely known, though we may exercise discretion in the matter without thinking about it. Westerners wear black at funerals, whereas Indian Hindus abide by white. Pink is thought to convey friendship and a willingness to compromise through negotiation. Red is a popular symbol symbol for passion. Green represented nature, even before conservation activists abrogated it. It is the same with brown. I personally love all shades of blue.
Young people of today think nothing of wearing jeans to a place of worship. They even appear for dinner at restaurants in shorts and shirts without collars. Inner wear is another, I believe, way of non-verbal communication. There are deep natural roots to such behavior, as any peacock or other bird out to make an impression will tell you.
Hairstyles, visible brand names, chosen transport vehicles, favorite places to dine, shop and vacation, are other ways to communicate with others, without saying a word. I know some people who write about their choices in these matters, to spread the good word far and wide. The welcome propensity of people to travel internationally, is celebrated more as an indicator of national economic progress, rather than of dropping air fares, hotel deals, and evolving services.
Hands and eyes have much to convey though they may have no voices or pens. Italians and some Indians are known to move their limbs more than conservative British and most Japanese (bowing excluded). These strong cultural dimensions must pose challenges for international corporations and the United States. There is little chance of Gaddafi chatting with Cameron, which is not such a bad thing anyway, but what if Berlusconi had to deal with Hina Rabbani?
I do not need to say as much about eyes as I have about other modes of non-verbal communication. Any docile husband such as I dreads the angry glance of a spouse. Dogs are best at interpreting looks though. Is this related to their sensitivity to waves to which humans remain impervious? I have a friend in Saurashtra who can even ask his family to serve tea, without saying anything. It certainly beats my rushing to the kitchen every time a friend drops in. Let me conclude by stating that 'look me in the eye' is a worthy adage. Use it to convey sincerity. Drop it like the proverbial hot potato when you have to lie. Fortunately, video calls are not affordable as yet where I live.
The stuff of this post should not suggest that I consider verbal and written communication to be unimportant. I would love to exchange ideas on how to communicate better in a speech, discussion, on paper, or online.
I met these people in May 2009, very near the final resting place of Lord Buddha. We had assembled to discuss honeybees and honey. The seated crew came from Punjab to exhort the farmers standing behind them to start rearing honeybees. Most of us are afraid of getting stung. Honeybees can visit gardens in cities, just as they do with crops and farms. Can you think of a presentation that would persuade you to establish hives?
Empathy has much to do with effective communication. It helps to get in to the shoes of targets, and to try and think like them.
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